The Connection : #FridayFictioneers

 

riday-fictioneers-phone-booth
Photo Credits: J Hardy Caroll

 

 

For Ron, it’s a challenge to make ends meet, so a personal phone is totally out of question.

His girl friend, Anna lives in Johor Bharu, while he lives in Singapore. At 7, every day evening, Ron goes to the nearest MRT station to call her. A time they both look forward to and cherish, every single day.

Today when he calls Anna, a male voice answers the phone, “Hello!”

Surprised, Ron mumbles “Can I speak to Anna please.”

“Sorry, but Anna died in a car crash last week. I’m her brother Andrew here. Who’s this?”

 

 

 

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Word Count: 100

Writing for our lovely host, Rochelle Wisoff-Field’s Friday Fictioneers

Read some fantastic entries to this week’s Friday Fictioneers here.

 

 

Comments

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      Natasha

      Hi Russel, exactly what I feel. Certain stories need to be left for the reader to decipher. Why do you think I didn’t tweak it after all the comments I received below.
      Thank you for reiterating the same

  1. Mike

    Sometimes we read what we expect, you will have caught many of us out. It was a lesson several teachers tried to get me to understand,

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  2. Storyteller

    It was beautifully spooky… My take for the ending is ” she died last week, we had prayer service today”… that’s how she was not on the other side of the phone…

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  3. Lynn Love

    Confession – I did not get that she was a ghost until I read through the comments and re, re read the story. It is dfinitely there, though. Not sure how you can make it clearer – some snippet of the last conversation they have? ‘Just the day before, Anna had told him …’ before going onto introduce Andrew. Tricky to conjur spooky, atmospheric and twist in the tale in 100 words. Really creepy idea though.

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  4. Varad

    I re-read your story just for this query. My take is I was not able to deduce it rightaway because I felt that their daily ritual could have been fleshed out a little more. And it would have been a little more effective if Anna was the one calling him and on that day she didn’t, so Ron calls her to find out and hears a male voice answering it. I feel this would have made the final twist a little more chilling. Just my two cents.

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      Natasha

      Hello Kelvin, I’m so glad someone got the gist of the ghostly and sad ending.
      I think she stopped receiving his call on the 7 th day because she wanted him to know she was gone.

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      Natasha

      Hello did you realise Anna was dead and it was her ghost that spoke to him, till the 7 th day, when the brother answered telling him she was gone?

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      Natasha

      Iain I’m wondering if you got the gist that Ron was actually talking to Anna’s ghost for 7 days after she passed away? I’m not sure if most of my readers were able to cue on to that

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