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Valuing Our Loved Ones Before We Lose Them: #MondayMusings

Why is it that we value people a lot more after they have died? I wonder why do we realise their importance only after they are gone, and not when they were around? Why is it that we regret not having spent quality time or more time with them? Or being ‘nicer’ or kinder to them when they lived.

I guess it’s human nature to take each other for granted. Especially our loved ones. We all get so caught in the mad hustle bustle of life,  that even though we wish to give these precious people time when they are alive, we are unable to. We keep postponing that visit, or the feelings of love and gratitude for “tomorrow”.

THAT THING ABOUT LIFE: 

The other day, a friend who I met after a long time, looked sad and drawn out. She had lost a dear family friend’s father the same morning. She looked sad, as she was unable to meet or see him before his sudden demise. In her heart she carried innumerable fond memories of spending her growing up years with the family, or watching television on New Years eve at their home, 

When I remember my mother, I wish I had made more efforts to learn her delicious recipes. And not take her cooking for granted. Though I’m glad, that I always spent ample time with her, and in her last years; also as a care giver on many occasions. But yes, I miss her guardian angel like presence in my life. 

Recently two friends told me, always ask your mother to watch over you and your dear ones, in your every day prayers; and she will. Sometime back this concept was a bit vague in my head; but that day I truly understood its meaning. After all she always watched over us, looking out for us like a fierce lioness protecting her cubs. And we know she will continue to.

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Do you sometimes wish that you spent more time with those who have crossed over? That you had been more sensitive to their presence? That you made that little time amidst your busy schedules, to be with them? Or been a lot more compassionate to their needs?

With that thought in my mind, all I can say is let’s start treasuring all the people in our lives, however small or big their contribution maybe. Let’s not allow our past grudges cloud our being. Let’s all start on a cleaner slate of loving a little more, living in the moment,  and forgiving easily.

Life is too short to be wasted not being present with our loved ones. (yes, put that phone or gadget aside, when you are with them)

Would love to hear your thoughts on this.

 

 

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Linking up with Corinne’s #MondayMusings and Mel’s Micro Mondays

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

18 thoughts on “Valuing Our Loved Ones Before We Lose Them: #MondayMusings

  1. Modern Gypsy says:

    I wish I had gotten to know my father in law better. He was a force of good; light years ahead of us in terms of his thinking; and he loved sharing Urdu poetry with me – and explaining the meanings, because I barely know Urdu! But I was so in awe of him that I held back my questions for him…and now he is gone…and I wish I had asked him more questions about life and living.

    • Natasha says:

      I hear you. I always look up to my Father-in-law and wish to connect with him at a deeper level. Especially as he grows older, but somehow haven’t managed to do so, for reasons unknown to me. He is such a learned man, with a vast plethora of wisdom.

      Maybe I should try again. 🙂

      Thanks for sharing this lovely leaf from your life dear, Shinjini. <3

  2. Anamika Agnihotri says:

    I may not know about this bit of valuing dear ones after they cross over because I haven’t experienced it. Losing loved ones is going to be inevitable but then I know where and whom to look up to for inspiration thereafter. It is you and the way you lead your life.

  3. Esha M Dutta says:

    Loved your thought-provoking post, dear Natasha! This is an issue very close to my heart since over the past couple of years our parents on both sides have been ageing and getting frail, needing our assistance at every step and I’ve always ensured that irrespective of how busy I am, I’m always around for them. I have to fill in for Jay too, at times especially when he is travelling on work. I do worry a lot about these things, and as you rightly say, try and treasure the moments with family, friends and people, who truly matter, no matter how busy I am, because I know someday when they are gone, it will haunt me and make me sad if I didn’t spend enough time with them while they are still around. Not that I always succeed but I try to make the best of it.

    • Natasha says:

      I know you give so much of yourself, to your loved ones. You are an incredible soul who is always working to bring about a difference to every life that touches yours.

      As my mother got more unwell, I realised I had to spend time with her, and give a large bit of myself to her. I’m so glad I did; those four-half years, visiting her more often, having her over for her treatment for months and so on so forth.
      I feel as our parents age, all they crave for is our company, and our love. It doesn’t;t get easy given our responsibilities for our immediate family and at home, but making that one little effort can make so much of a difference in their hearts. And we set a good example for our kids in the process too. 🙂

  4. Rachna Parmar says:

    I lost my mum when I was 26. So yes, I wish I had more time with her for everything. But I do have the feeling that she is there around me, watching over me and gently guiding me. I feel it very strongly. And that has to do, i guess.

    • Natasha says:

      How lovely Rachna. The best thing is to celebrate their presence in our lives as our Gaurdian angels. After all they may leave the physical body, but they always watch over us. Feel the same for Ma, too.

  5. Debbie D. says:

    Excellent advice, Natasha! I think the problem is, time passes so quickly, we don’t notice how many days or months have gone by and then, before we know it, it’s too late. Most of us have those regrets when a loved one dies.

    • Natasha says:

      Yes, Debbie, most of us do. And we want to do so much in this one life, that we miss out on our dear ones, in the hurried scheme of things.

      Thanks for reading and leaving your thoughts, Debbie. 🙂

  6. Shilpa Gupte says:

    So true! Life is so uncertain, we never know what the next moment might bring with it. And, it’s only after we experience the loss of our loved ones that we realise how foolish we have been to waste precious moments away for stuff that holds no importance in the larger scheme of things!

  7. Soumya says:

    I think this is very natural, Natasha. You only realize the importance of someone after they are no longer around. Sadly, this is true.

    Makes one think, doesn’t it. I would love to spend more time with people I care about and those who care about me. You never know if tomorrow will ever come.

    • Natasha says:

      Yes, natural, but sometimes feels like a bitter truth.
      Especially when that soul has moved away to another realm.

      Have seen so many deaths off late around me, that this thought got me pondering.

      I know it’s human, but why do we only say good things about the person after they have passed away and hold so much of animosity and angst otherwise.

      It makes me want to drop all baggages and love each person in life and death. 🙂

  8. BellyBytes says:

    How often we say we’ll meet/call another day only to find that we’ve missed the day and the person is lost forever. A very timely post indeed to remind us that life is indeed too short for all of us and we should not have any regrets that we didn’t spend enough time. Currently, my dear friend is in town and I just don’t have the time to even call her let alone visit her – simply because I’m so tied up – housework, no servants and renovations which means I am tied down at home…. I know that I should make the time but it should also be convenient for her isn’t it?

    • Natasha says:

      Totally. It has to be convenient for all of us. We no longer lead a simple life, with an easy pace. So we need to prioritise what’s important at that point of time. Having said that, sometimes to just make that little extra effort to meet a loved one, just uplifts us, and when we don’t it leaves us feeling regretful.

      Life is all about choices. We just have to make the one’s that are best for us at that moment, isn’t it?

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