{C} is for Control: #AtoZChallenge
{C} is for Control
I’m at the gym sweating it out. Trying to beat the blues and kick the stress out of my life. It’s been a stressful few months. Initially I was pretty zen around it, and then the melt down happened. I felt like that babe in the woods who had lost her way back home. I am clueless on where my Buddhahood has suddenly disappeared. And then I find my answers. It comes to me from my DH and then from a meeting I attend.
The DH says, “Let go of control. Do the best you can, without worrying of the outcome.” I realise I have been trying to control people, situations and to an extent myself, and the way I feel. I keep forgetting it is perfectly fine to be sad, upset or angry at times; as long as it doesn’t become part of my intrinsic nature. Every person has a different mindset, a different world view; who am I to control what they believe, how the behave.
Off late I have been a nagging and controlling Mommy to my children too. A chance conversation with an acquaintance at a mediation centre, brought forth a reminder and synchronously through my own thoughts and words. And the reminder are these lines by Khalil Gibran On Children from The Prophet:
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love, but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
I look outside my window and see the sun-kissed sky and the spring diffusing it’s warm golden hue and burst of colours. I realise I have no control over the weather. This also means I have no role to play even when the weather is cold, dark, dreary or rainy. So if I can’t control the weather, how can I possibly control certain situations and people in my life?
Letting go of control helps me to live in the now, to appreciate the golden glow of the sun, to be free of baggages and angst. And most of all to be myself.
“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over, instead of craving control over what you don’t.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
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My theme for this year’s Blogging from A-Z Challenge is April Anecdotes that are twenty-six compelling tales of some real people, and some not so real people. These tales will be surreal, peppered with a dose of non-fiction, but some might just be a figment of my over active imagination. You can read my theme here.
48 thoughts on “{C} is for Control: #AtoZChallenge”
Ah! I think I needed to read that today. Going through some changes in life and reading this reminded me that maybe I needed to have a little faith.
Reminded me of the words from song from a movie I saw with my kids when they were much younger
Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don’t you know
The hardest part is over?
Let it in
Let your clarity define you
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels
Sometimes you truly have to let go… loved it di
Thank you.
Thank you so much for the lines by Khalil Gibran. I too strongly feel that we must do all that we can for our kids, yet not expect much in return. They have their own souls and their own karma to expend. Let the be.
True that Anupriya. But so often we forget and get caught in the vagaries of life. Thank you for reading and commenting.
It’s too easy to become a control freak. Sometimes it better to let outside forces take the reins.
My Friend Rosey – C is for Cycling
Oh yes, truly so Keith. 🙂
This is beautiful, Natz. I had to read this today. My hands are full these days – with both blogs, cooking, photography and the little Muffy. You made me realize that I needn’t be in control always.
I’m so glad this resonated with you and that too at the write time Shalini. 🙂 <3
I like your DH’s suggestion. Very wise. Tough to let go of control, yes, but in the long run, better if we do.
Yes, letting go allows us to be and to breath free. Thanks for reading and commenting Vinay.
Finding that equilibrium of having control over letting go of control or having command over it when needed can be daunting. Bit by bit you indeed can near it. Lovely post and love the quote at the end.
C is Coincidence – Love is not my need
Thank you Shweta, for your kind comment. 🙂
Having self control is fine, but sooner we understand that some situations cannot be controlled, the better it is. A good thought provoking post, Natasha.
Yes, we have no control on most situations. It’s easier to go with the flow and to just be. Thanks Rohan.:)
I had to read this today.
I’m just back from a vacation and I was thrown into a pile of work. This coupled with the A to Z challenge, my work-outs, my reading and my household chores is beginning to take me down and I feel like I’m losing control of everything around.
Now I realize that I don’t need to be in control all the time. I can let something slip, it is okay.
I already feel good, thanks so much, Natasha.
I know that feeling Soumya and I’m so glad this post came to you ar the right time. Big Hugs. I’m sure you will feel better, once you decide to go with the flow and not have everything accomplished in a day’s time. After all we are humans and not super humans and I can see you do it all so well-blogging and juggling a full time job together is not easy.
Big Hugs<3
I’m a Type A personality and control and perfectionism have been large parts of my life. It took me until my 50s to learn that neither is good for me. I’m a work in progress when it comes to letting go and not depending on what other people think. Midlife is teaching me a lot of lessons!
Leanne | http://www.crestingthehill.com.au
C for Consider Every Angle
Oh tell me about it Leanne. I continue to learn each day and even as I write this post, I realise I will require this reminder soon enough and stop controlling everything around me. :))
Thank you for reading. And commenting.
:))
Letting go is a hard thing to do! Nice idea though 🙂
https://iainkellywriting.com/2018/04/03/c-is-for-cork-republic-of-ireland/
Yes, it is. But best if we can, to make life simpler. Unties those necessary knots. 🙂
It happens, Natasha. We all lose control over ourselves sometimes. But, you know what I have realised over the last year? Our hormones are also responsible to how we react to certain situations. On days when we are feeling confident and happy, we face any situation bravely, stay cool and pass the phase with ease. But, when things are chaotic with our hormones, that’s when we lose control over ourselves. It’s really a difficult situation. So, don’t stress over it so much, give yourself a lot of love, a lot of positive reinforcement and just experience the situation. It will pass.
Hugs to you, my dear!
True, our hormones are pretty much haywire too Shilpa and those can make control freaks out of the best of us. I have seen that happening to my other girlfriends too.
Big hugs back at you. <3
A wonderful charter for peace of mind, Natasha. Loved the Gibran quote and your elegant words.
Thanks a bunch dear Moon. <3
I was reading Happiness begins at home by Sensei where he clearly talks on our tendency as parents to control our kids. We should not try to control them as they have their own minds. Lovely write up Natz
Oh that’s one of my favourite books, Tina. Recently gifted it to these dear friends of mine. I love how Sensie and his lovely wife Kaneko, write about these little precious nuggets from our family life. And I remember the passage you are talking about.
Thank you for your lovely words, Tina. <3
It is not easy obviously, but going with the flow IS the only path to mental calm and happiness. I loved the parts about the parent-children relationship, had read this one by Gibran before, but it fit in so nicely with your thoughts here.
Thank you Anurag. Glad you liked it. 🙂
I wonder, is it easy to leave control? should atleast somethings go as per plan?
Tongue Twister for C
Of course somethings could go as planned, but if they don’t, it’s best to accept them as they are; instead of trying to mope over what went wrong. That’s what I feel. Easier said than done, but when done, helps relive a lot of unnecessary baggage.
Heading to read you brand new tongue twister. 🙂
True that, YOu really cant control everything, t let go, now here is my issue, I can seldom decide how much and when to loosen control
That’s not an easy one either. Maybe it’s about arriving at some sort of balance and going with that, Ramya. Thank you for reading and commenting. 🙂
Hi Natasha! I am loving your poignant musings for this year´s challenge. This one is exactly what I needed to read. Control and even comparisons are something that we can do away in our life. Easier said than done thought. But, as long as we are aware and try, things should be better. Keep them coming! 🙂
Dearest Tina <3
So glad you are enjoying my posts. Working on writing some livelier posts in the coming days, along with these reflective ones.
Heading over to your blog soonest. All the very best. You will ace it like you always do. 🙂
I love that quote at the end… Really applies to me at many levels
Yes, Doc it so does. Thank you for coming by and commenting.
You are allowed to feel the way you do, Natz. Hope you’re feeling better.
Yes, feeling so much better May. And I think I owe it to A-Z and all the blog love pouring in. :))) <3
This is amazing. Helps reinforcing the teachings of mindfulness. Thanks for writing.
Thank you so much for reading my dear nephew. Means a lot. Keep swinging by when you have time from Mark Zuckerberg’s grand corporate kingdom. Hugs.
That was such a calming read and that quote might have just helped me feel a little bit better today. Thank you Natasha
Chipko(again) @ NamySaysSo
I’m so very happy it did Namy. Have a beautiful week ahead. <3
Such a poignant post Natasha. We would lead much happier lives if we understand that we cannot possibly control everything. Great thought.
Yes, Meha, we would. Letting go of control unties all the knots we create in our lives. Thank you for reading and commenting. 🙂
Control is an illusion. Sooner we understand that, the better. Another interesting anecdote, Natasha.
C is for Con Artist
Ah! You said it Varad. Thank you so much.