Hola! My darling Girl Natasha,
How be you? Yes, it’s me writing a letter to you, my dear girl. Surprised, are you? After all I haven’t written to you in the longest time. A few years back; in my most challenging times, I would sit down and pour my heart out to you on a piece of paper or on my Mac. But I guess I’ve been so busy having fun with my new found love for blogging that a conversation with you has taken a back seat. I’m sorry if that hurt. You must know that I love you a little more than I love NatashaMusing, after all she is a manifestation of your dreams, thoughts and outpourings.
I’m so grateful to Write Tribe for giving me this platform today, to communicate with you. It seems so well-timed. More often than not the universe will give you exactly what you need, at that given point of time.
Today I want to acknowledge you for something that I never have. I treasure the person you have been and the person you have evolved into the last few years. You have braved it all and emerged victorious. Whether it was your ongoing battle with depression or Ma’s prolonged illness. Yes, you fell many a times, yes you wanted to give up; but no you didn’t. You stayed rooted and towered like a light house, with it’s guiding light, showing the way. Kudos to you, Natasha. I am very proud of you indeed. I’m proud of your indomitable spirit.
I know that last few days have been tad overwhelming. There’s a lot going on in your head. Whether it’s your worry over Ma’s declining health, or that you suddenly miss your girl gang (they moved various cities, though a while back) or even not having a new bunch of rock solid friends. You are also worried about how will you cope with your current writing challenge, the 9 year-old’s impending exams, and the stupid migraine. Though I just realised you are almost done with the challenge. One last story to go. Tomorrow is a guest post, and hopefully that’s sorted. Cross my fingers. But what about those lovely stories that are being penned, as part of this Write Tribe Festival of Words #6? Wish I had more time to read and comment.
I know you are still struggling to come to terms with Ma’s suffering. A woman of steel, so full of grit, determination and joie de vivre, who now is bed-ridden. I feel like shaking Ma up and telling her, “Don’t give up! Keep that fight going. You have fought bravely all these years, so please fight back again. Don’t crumble against a failing will-power. We are there standing by you. I have faith in miracles. I know you can still get up and walk to the kitchen and cook me my favourite Alu-posto (Potatoes cooked in poppy seeds) or that Malai Chingri (Prawn coconut curry)!” I pray Ma keeps the fight going. Keep the faith, dear girl Natasha. Let life take its own course, like the flowing Kaali river you saw at Dandeli.
As for making new bunch of true friends, within our city Gurgaon, well, I just want you to know I’m your best friend. You are your own best friend and nobody can stand by you as much as you will stand by yourself. So, yes friends will come and go, life will move on, but you must stay your own best friend forever. Love yourself and cherish your friendship with yourself. It’s the only one you’ve got that is irreplacable.
The 9-year-old is a hardworking kid. It’s again back to “studying” for school exams with her I realise. It’s been an eternity since you stopped helping the 19 year-old with her studies, especially around the exams. It’s like starting all over again. Exams were never my forte while in school and college except for the Buddhism exams that I loved taking. Well, looking at the sunny side, it’s a whole new set of re-learning for you all over again. Teaching the little girl will help you expand your knowledge a bit, if not anything. So treasure those moments with her, enjoy them instead of fretting over them.
It’s great to see you cherishing your time with your two daughters. They are such incredible girls. Just like their father. Your DH is one rock solid man. And he can smell trouble from a mile away. Rather, he knows you too well. No wonder this morning when he left for work, he told you, “Relax, take it easy.” He knows when you start stressing too much I get into the “down in the dumps” mode.
Life is a roller coaster ride. Never ever picture perfect. But it’s the looking glasses we wear that makes all the difference. So on that note, Natasha, don the “positive, joyous and worry free” looking glass. Despite the little dark spots, you will see an enchanting world out there.
Much, much love <3
Stay beautiful always!
Your Friend in Life & Death,